ihasyou

I AM SUPER CRUSHING RIGHT NOW. EXCUSE ME AS I TRY TO REMAIN OPTIMISTIC, MOST OF THESE THINGS NEVER WORK OUT FOR ME OR EVEN START IN THE FIRST PLACE. HALP.

i've been watching a lot of foreign films lately. mostly non-mainstream European films. i have to say, i may not be popular here, i guess i'll check out boys that aren't from here. haha

it's really sad when a little twat faced boy can say something offhand, not even directly at you, and it drastically affects your mood. it's also not really my fault. i wish i could just say what i feel, instead of hiding it and hating myself. i know he knows, but he won't talk about it. i know he knows.                       i am very conflicted. i hate myself for being so emotional. for being so feminine. how am i ever supposed to even present as male, when i act like a little princess, a fangirl, prissy, etc...? i hate myself for not being at all masculine. everyone is just like my mom. "you girl, kyo" "you're such a lady" and i don't th